Every year at this time, we hear commentaries on St. Joseph, the stepfather of Jesus. Many of them are sheer speculation. We do not actually know much of anything about Jesus’s stepfather. He shows up when the Virgin Mary is betrothed. He thinks she has committed some type of sin and therefore decides to quietly divorce her. Meanwhile, her family sends her off to Saint Elizabeth, in the mountains, which is a very traditional thing to do with a pregnant teenager. Yes, I know that there are various apocryphal works that state that St. Anna always knew the truth, but there is a reason why they are apocryphal. Then an angel appears to St. Joseph and tells him that the Virgin has not sinned. Mary returns to Nazareth and is married to him.
After that, we know that St. Josephs traveled with St. Mary to Bethlehem where she gave birth. He was with her when the Magi arrived. He traveled with her to Egypt. He returned to Nazareth and set up a carpentry workshop. We know this because Jesus is known as the son of the carpenter. During Jesus’ twelfth birthday year, St. Joseph travels to Jerusalem with the Holy Family. And, that is the last that we hear of him.
Speculation and pious tradition has filled in the rest of the story. There are a minimum of three other traditions about St. Joseph. In one, he is a young man who is betrothed to St. Mary and is confused by all that is happening. This is the preferred Western tradition. In the East, the preferred tradition is that he was an older man. After that, the tradition splits into two additional parts. You see, the Gospels talk about Jesus’ brothers and sisters. Because of the Greek word used, it is unclear whether these are half-siblings or cousins. But, more and more, Protestants are beginning to buy the viewpoint of a young St. Joseph and a St. Mary who had multiple children after Jesus’ birth. Thus, his brothers and sisters would all be younger.
The East had a different tradition. In the East, St. Joseph was an older man. In the two versions that are generally accepted, St. Joseph was either a widower or the brothers of the Lord were his cousins. Most Eastern Orthodox believe the tradition which says that St. Joseph was a widower and that Jesus’ brothers and sisters were his half-brothers and half-sisters. The lesser accepted option is that they were cousins.
Is there any indication in Scripture as to which tale is true? No, there is no direct indication. However, I would like to point out that St. Joseph never shows up after Jesus’ twelfth birthday and the incident in the Temple. I would argue that had St. Joseph been younger, there would most certainly have been a tale written about how a young husband died so unexpectedly. The very fact that St. Joseph’s death is not mentioned in the Scriptures, may very well point to the fact that the death of an older widower would not have been unexpected. The silence about the death of St. Joseph may point to the idea that it was not an unexpected or a terribly young death. This matches the idea that St. Joseph was an older man, probably a widower.
So, which version should you believe? Well, none of them are wrong. We simply do not know. But, I would suggest that the version that portrays an older St. Joseph is probably the right one.
There’s an article from Richard Bauckham a few years ago about this question. He argues that, from the gospels, the evidence suggests that Joseph was probably an older man and that Jesus’ siblings were from a previous marriage. He bases this around how the siblings treat Jesus (if He were the oldest, they would’ve shown more respect), and that Jesus gives Mary to John (which would be odd and inappropriate if she had children to care for her). Bauckham is an evangelical, relatively conservative, Anglican and while he believes Jesus was Mary’s only son, that this did not preclude Joseph from having future relations with her (point being: he’s not wed to a defense of tradition).
The link to his article (vis. JSTOR): https://www.jstor.org/stable/43721789