As a priest I have all too often had to deal with parents, or spouses, or close friends, or … who have had to face a situation such as the one above. It is Christmas, but you have just lost someone. It is Christmas, but you are about to lose someone. It is Christmas, but you are stationed somewhere overseas and there are no telephone connections to talk to your family. It is Christmas, but you are the doctor, nurse, radiologist, EMT, on duty trying to save people who are too badly injured. It is Christmas, but you are a Law Enforcement Officer, or a fireman/woman, or a border patrol agent, and it is your turn to pull the duty. And life is not fair. And life will not give you joy. And you are sitting in a corner crying because it is so bad.
One Thanksgiving, back in 1972, I was a young soldier on laboratory duty in Georgia. It was not bad enough that I was away from home; I was called out. A Chief Petty Officer had died. And we had to perform an autopsy. And, so, that Thanksgiving morning I spent assisting the Pathologist while we performed an autopsy so that the family could have their loved one’s body in time to bury him that weekend. In my selfishness, I was not thinking of the family; I was thinking only of myself. Worse, the Pathologist was making jokes about skinning and butchering deer, to see if he could get the young solder to puke. We finished up and went to the mess hall. It was later than the normal time because the autopsy had taken time. So, we had lukewarm turkey with only slightly congealed lukewarm gravy, cold mashed potatoes, etc. And I felt so sorry for myself. I did not cry, but I certainly found no joy that day.
Now, decades later, I can look back and see my lack of compassion. But, I can also understand the loneliness that I felt that day, the loneliness that all feel who are in circumstances of loss, or circumstances of assigned duty, or other reasons why you cannot celebrate that day. But, I look at the cartoon above by Berkeley Breathed and I am reminded of how much the involvement of one other person can change the perception of the circumstances. One person taking the time to perform an act of kindness does not change the circumstances. But, one person taking the time to demonstrate love and caring can change attitudes. One person can bring, if not joy, at least surcease and warmth and a certain presence of the love of God that can help those who are in pain to last one more day, to put it with it one more day, to be able to keep on walking one more day.
Be that person today.
If you have a loved one or a friend who is that lonely feeling-abandoned person, call them. Stop by. Let them know that you are there and you understand. If you have interactions with someone who is on duty today and having to work, make sure to let them know that you appreciate the fact that they are on duty. Be that person whom they will remember in future years and say of you that you kept them from dropping down into the Slough of Despair because of a well-timed act or word. Celebrate Christmas by giving of yourself as Christ gave of himself.
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