The post below is a post that I placed on the Orthodox Christian Network for this month. It has not been accepted yet, but you can read it here:
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The theme for the Orthodox Christian Network in June is marriage. This is not surprising, June is a favorite time for weddings in the USA. The phrase, “a June wedding,” expresses, on our culture, that reality. I have known churches that have had to carefully apportion their wedding times during June so as to ensure that one wedding party will not run into another wedding party. In passing, this sometimes makes the pre-wedding decorations with flowers a bit rushed and difficult and the parish hall for after the wedding becomes a first-come first-served type of situation!
We Orthodox have a high view of marriage [Ed. Note: as do many other Christians]. And we also have a high view of what it means to follow the Lord. It means that what we proclaim should be backed up by our actions. This is why in the month of June it is so important that we examine ourselves. Saint Paul says in 2 Corinthians 13:5-6, “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified. But I trust that you will know that we are not disqualified.”
So, if you are either married or thinking to be married, take this month to examine yourself. How do you stack up against the expectations that the Lord (and the Church) have of you as a married (or about to be married) person?
In Genesis, Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” God said that he would make a helper for man comparable to him. Do you consider and treat your spouse as comparable to you? Do either of you speak to each other or about each other in ways that would seem to imply that one of you is less than the other?
In the Gospels, Our Lord Jesus said that to look upon a woman and lust was essentially the same as committing adultery. Today’s society encourages both men and women to consider others as possible options, even if that option is by way of fantasy. How do you measure up? Are we making the attempt to keep our thought lives under control so that we may not be counted as failing in our duty to be faithful to our spouses, even in our thought lives?
Saint Ignatius of Antioch says, “Tell my sisters to love the Lord and to be satisfied with their husbands in flesh and spirit. In the same way tell my brothers in the name of Jesus Christ to love their wives as the Lord does the Church. If anyone is able to persevere in chastity to the honor of the flesh of the Lord, let him do so in all humility. If he is boastful about it, he is lost; if he should marry, the union should be made with the consent of the bishop, so that the marriage may be according to the Lord and not merely out of lust. Let all be done to the glory of God.”
Though this month is about marriage, let me put in a side note for those who are celibates and monastics, from Saint Ignatius of Antioch (and I am an Antiochian priest). Do those of you who are celibate and those of you who are monastics truly honor marriage? Are you proud of being either celibate or a monastic? Then you are “lost,” as the saint says. Get married and learn true humility and service of others. But, returning to marriage, do you ever find yourself thinking about whether you would have been better off married to someone else? Make the decision to be satisfied and to love your spouse? In some cases it may not be easy and it will take time, but make the decision to love.
Inevitably some of you will want to tell me horrible stories about a marriage of yours or of a friend. Please realize that both in Scripture and Holy Tradition there are various counsels that apply. For instance, Our Lord Jesus comments on divorce, “except for the cause of adultery.” Saint Paul comments on abandonment. Please do not use the exceptions to excuse you from Holy Tradition.
No, this is not the “sweetness and light” posting that is typical of a posting on marriage. But, please realize that I want you to have a very strong marriage, a marriage that is solidly rooted in the principles of Scripture and Holy Tradition. In order to do so, it is important that you engage in another important sacrament, that of Confession. If you confess what you truly are, with every intention of amending your ways, you will see that the Holy Spirit will meet you and give you the grace that you need for a successful marriage.
And perhaps, this is the best message for June. As the cliché saying goes, you are not alone. The Holy Spirit is there to guide you, to sanctify you, and to lead you into a good marriage. This June, you are not alone. God is with you and your marriage.
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