Yes, I remember 9/11. Like everyone else who was an adult in the USA back then, I remember where I was. I was in Birmingham, AL and I was at home. I was a priest in charge of a Spanish-speaking mission for the Episcopal Diocese of Alabama and visitor at a couple of other sites. But, I was home on that morning. I took care of some things and then I turned on the TV because I usually like to have the news running in the background, and I saw that the first Trade Center tower was burning. So, I sat down thinking that a small plane had hit the tower.
It was live. So, I watched live as the second plane plunged into the second tower. No one knew what to think at first, but within a couple of minutes we all realized that terrorism had hit us. Then came the news of the Pentagon. By that time, I could not leave my TV set. We all knew we were at war. My family and I had only returned to the States about a year before from a country that had just finished up a decade long civil war, with terrorism and heavy security. Little did we know that we were heading back to a country that was about to enter into war and heavy security. The news of Pennsylvania came and more horror hit us. The President was in the air in the mobile control center. The country was at the highest DEFCON level short of launching everything. The members of the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches were being evacuated to safely hidden venues.
As we thought it could not get any worse, the first tower fell, and then the second.
A couple of days later we all watched the President. He came within one phrase of asking for a declaration of war. I was sure that he was going to ask for one. My heart was in pain but willing to go to war if it were necessary. To this day I wonder whether a formal declaration of war against enemies unknown might have spared us the sad mess we have going on in Guantanamo and the mess at Abu Ghraib. And who knows whether it might have kept us out of Iraq.
What I do know is that a few days after that I got a copy of my DD-214 and told my bishop I was going to check my options to at least enlist in the Army Reserves. But, it was not to be. I did go there and to the Air Force Reserves and to the National Guard. That was when I found out that I was too old. Young men just slightly older than our oldest daughter looked at me and tried to find a polite way to tell the old veteran that this is what he was (and is) an old veteran. I knew they were going in harm’s way and I thought that a chaplain with experience in more than one country, more than one revolution, might be what they needed. But, it was not to be. I wrote one of our USA Senators from Alabama. I received the nicest letter that I knew was written carefully by a public relations person in order to tell all of us old vets that our prior service was appreciated, but that the time was past for us. It was not to be.
Nine years later, it was our youngest daughter and her then future husband (our current son-in-law) who went to war in the longest running war in American history. In 2001, she was just 15 years old, still a rebellious teenager in high school. Today she is a married woman, an officer and a lady who has been awarded the Bronze Star. I am proud of her, but hate having to sit back because I am just enough of a daddy to wish that I could take the place of one of those young men and women so that even one less of them might not be in harm’s way. But, it is not to be.
So now I work at a Veterans Affairs Medical Center. I am at least helping the troops somewhat. I see them, the ones who are healing from the current war, the ones who are healing from past wars and conflicts. I see the ones with scars, without one limb or another. I see the ones who look unharmed, but are with us because they are in inner pain over what they saw and what happened. For them the fog of war has never lifted and their mind is fogged. I am glad that I am there and I wish I could do more. I still wish I could go over. Not because I want to be a Rambo. You see, chaplains do not carry weapons. No, I still wish I could be with those who hurt over there. Perhaps I could do a little something to ease them, to be with them. But, it is not to be.
No, I do not hate. I do not think that all Muslims are trying to found a Caliphate over the whole world. I do not think many things. I wish more people would stop thinking some of those things. While our officer daughter was overseas, she became acquainted with both the Orthodox and, yes, the Muslim chaplain. But, what I do clearly wish is that there were more people involved with the veterans, with the spouses of those overseas, with the children whose father or mother is gone to maybe not return, with those who have lost a loved relative and now could use a gentle friend. I wish many things.
But, what I most desire for our country is that most common phrase from the Divine Liturgy, “Lord, have mercy.”
Thank you for sharing this, it means a lot. I had a great Chaplin in my time without him it would have been a lot harder. From on of the “younger” generations of Vet’s to another thank you for your service and thank your daughter for hers.
very good post, Father. I agree wholeheartedly, but then, I also have a son in the military. My heart goes out to those serving and I so want to remind my fellow Americans of these young ppl that are so easily forgotten in so many places. I consider myself blessed to be in an area that is heavily military so that I am constantly reminded of their sacrifice. I read in the paper yesterday of a young mother on her FIFTH deployment…some ppl are sacrificing much more than others…please remember them in your prayers at least and with your pocketbooks if you can by giving to the USO, or if you know of a family with a parent deployed, offer to do something to help them.
I thought you were a man of peace. Who would Jesus kill?