I have often jokingly told couples who are thinking of marriage that someday in the future, their sins will catch up to them when they have teenagers, particularly if they are daughters. I have also jokingly said that the reason that fathers, in particular, say so many “no’s” to their daughters and are so suspicious of any incoming boy is that all their sins have come back to visit them. But, truthfully, it is not really much of a joke.
The reality indeed is that when we were teenagers, many of us behaved in ways that would now horrify us if our children were to so behave. We joke about how everyone goes a “little wild” when they are teenagers, but it is no laughing matter when we are looking at one of our teenage children and realizing that we heavily overworked our guardian angel during our teenage years. Yes, I know that a few of you were not that way and that you had well-behaved adolescences. That is a good thing, and you ought to be proud of yourselves. But, that is not true for the majority of the people who became adolescents in the United States.
And so, for those of you who have teenagers, this might be a good time to go to your parents, prostrate yourself before them, and humbly apologize for all the grief you caused them. GRIN. It may not change your teenager, but it will at least give your parents the opportunity to have a good laugh at your expense. And perhaps, just perhaps, God might be a little more inclined to listen to your intercessory prayers about your children. After all, his children most certainly acted out and rebelled, didn’t they?
Fr. Ernesto,
I was a pretty tame teen (although we did pull some pretty good stunts) and my wild years didn’t start until my 20’s.
Apologizing to my parents was something I did, finally, in my late 40’s. Took me awhile to get there but I am very glad I did. Not just for the piddling stuff I did in my late teens, but more so for the harsh judgments I made on them while in my early 20’s. (calling them idolators when I left the RCC for the protestant church). The apologies and repentance came fast and furious when I converted to Orthodoxy and understood their faith much better. Thanks be to God He gave me that chance before my Mother fell asleep in the Lord a year ago. I will be forever grateful that I had the chance to make peace with her about so many things.
Yup. The only thing I’ve found helpful is I can often buffalo my kids into thinking I’m nearly clairvoyant because I’ve done all the tricks they try to pull. That’s why I don’t blog about my childhood yet. 🙂
I don’t know if my wild years ever started. I was so cautious and careful my parents made me go to church social events for fear that I wouldn’t make any friends. I didn’t fit in with any of the cliques in my high school except for the teachers. So I paradoxically managed to never be any one teacher’s pet but got along with the art and literature teachers at my high school.
My “rebel” years, I guess, were in college when I drifted away from the charismatic background of my family and became more Calvinist. I also became, er, a moderate rather than a staunch Republican. This, it turned out, was enough to make me seem like a college-educated liberal. I read about theology and listened to music when I was a teenager. I ended up getting into some of the music of my parents but got very much into music my grandmother was into. I have joked for much of my life that I’m old at heart. What my parents have had trouble accepting is that when they argued with THEIR parents about politics that their own children would disagree with them. They were appalled that their parents were voting for Mondale, my parents were mortified that my siblings and I openly preferred McCain to Bush in 2000 and don’t share their eagerness to brand Obama as an antichrist. And they wonder why their kids are so disrespectful and arguing with them about poltiics so much. 😉 Yep, sins can come back to haunt you and you may not realize it.
I’ve wondered if the reason so many people just go with doing young stupid things is not just because of youthful foolishness but because there’s also a strong undercurrent of the sentiment that when you’re old you will more regret the things you haven’t done than the things you have. Seems to be prevalent.
In hindsight, we have been wonderfully blessed: our two daughters reached adulthood relatively unscathed. Part of the reason, I think, is that my wife and I both were, and are, very honest and upfront with them about our mis-spent youths.
I think my sins are catching up to me!