Maybe it is my imagination, but lately I am seeing more and more cartoons with this type of theme. They are worried about the amount of time that our children spend indoors and the amount of time that they spend playing a game for entertainment or texting. More than one of the cartoons has the parent pushing the child(ren) outdoors to play and to enjoy the healthy exercise and interaction just like they did. OK, now what is wrong with that picture?
If you answered that the picture is nothing but a hazy golden memory of a past that never existed, I am going to say that you are wrong. Surprised you, did I not? No, that is not what finally struck me about these cartoons. You know, maybe I do have hazy golden memories, but I can remember riding my bicycle around the neighborhood. I can remember walking blocks to go play with friends. I can remember being able to tell mom that I would be back in a couple of hours, or by supper and doing some exploring. And, yes, as a result of doing those things, I was actually in reasonable physical shape, and actually knew what was around my house for a several block radius. Mind you, I can also remember having to ride my bicycle every day to deliver newspapers, rain or shine. I can remember mom (a widow) working a job and a half to make ends meet. Not all the memories are golden, but they are not that far off from other people’s memories of what it meant to be a child “back when.”
What is wrong with the picture is that the very parents who worry about their children being inside so much would never allow their children to do what we were allowed to do. What they mean by going outside to play is being within easy sight and easy hearing, and staying within the property lines of the place in which we are living. If the parents live in an apartment, it is doubtful that the children would even be fully allowed outside. Whereas we were allowed to go to the local empty lot to play or whereas we were allowed to do some wandering with friends, the children of today would never be allowed to do that in an unaccompanied fashion.
So, whereas for us going outside was a time of exploring and discovery, of playing and of wandering around, of meeting the kids around us (and sometimes fighting with them or having to learn to deal with bullies), outside time for the modern child is a fully boring proposition where they are only allowed a few limited toys, with only the child next door to play with, and only if they go through a rigorous scheduling process between the two parent(s). There is no opportunity to learn new things, meet new people, or discover and explore. As a result, for today’s child, going outside is not a stimulating experience but a dull boring separation from the stimulating experiences of different TV shows, game play, and texting.
I do not wish to get flooded with posts on how dangerous today’s world is and about how we must protect our children. That is not my point. My point is that the halcyon memories of “going outside” that we wish our children to also know in their childhood is something that is impossible for our children to have today. To push your child outside with the idea that you are getting them out into the sun and air so that they can play and be healthy is to superimpose your memories on the reality of what your child will experience. Your child will not experience the fun of your childhood, they will experience the dullness of the lack of stimulation imposed on them by the new rules of how children are to be raised and watched over.
Many parents try to cope with that by having their children in organized sports. The problem is just that. They are organized. The memories of childhood have to do with a free time of play, exploration, and discovery that helped us as children defuse from a day spent at school in a regimented environment. Taking the children from one regimented environment to another regimented environment will not replicate your halcyon experience of free play and free exploration.
So, please do your children a favor. Let them stay inside and play their online games and text. They may actually get more stimulation out of that than they will out of being forced to stay in their yard with carefully crafted rules. If you want them healthy, make sure to take them to exercise or sports, and control their diet. If you want them to be creative, inventive, and explorative, well, you will not get that by pushing them out in your back yard.
I had a roaming and exploring childhood and tried to give my children the same thing. My girls went “creeking” (exploring the creek in front of our house as far as they could go up and down stream, went exploring and roaming the neighborhood. I had parents who were shocked that I allowed my children to do such things. My response was that I had taught them some basic safety rules and expected them to get dirty and skinned up . I was thought a rather odd duck to say the least. The result is that I have independent minded, intellectually exploring children. My youngest graduated from college and decided to move to the other coast just to see what it was like!! My oldest has been traveled to other states and now at 30 seems to have settled down a little–and my marvelous middle likewise explored several possibilities before settling in the metro Washington DC area. But then I never wanted peas in a pod and I didn’t get peas in a pod. Of course, that is how I was brought up and myself and my 5 siblings and our children stretch from Maine to Florida and out to California with cousins from Alaska to Texas to Michigan to Utah.
I am convinced that, like so many other things, parenting styles cycle with the generations.
Absolutely. we live in a small town some 16km outside Saskatoon, and my children have the oppurtunities to walk, ride, play in the bush and all that. It does make a difference. Also, I view the level of organized sports on this continent as beyond sane. This is further exacerbated by the addition of “gear” – gear for this, gear for that, 110 tournaments a year and all that. Growing up in South Africa, I played rugby at elementary school level. You went to practice in whatever, and come game time, you could given a school rugby jersey, had to wear white shorts, and that’s it – we played barefoot. It was a lot of fun too. In high school, it got a little more demanding, so I participated in what you call “Track” over here. Very little equipment, made your own way (mostly) to the meet, and enjoyed it. Then things were more safe there too, and I roamed the countryside, mostly alone. Made a lot of difference to who I am.