Father Orthoduck so appreciates Pithless Thoughts. One of the challenges facing converts to Orthodoxy is that we have this way of going around kissing everyone. You kiss when you first see someone. You kiss when you say goodbye. You kiss during the Kiss of Peace. And, sometimes, for no known reason, you kiss some more. And, as Pithless points out, it is not just one kiss. You kiss a minimum of two times, and quite often three. Everyone kisses everyone. Men kiss women. Women kiss men. Women kiss women. Men kiss men. Everyone kisses icons. For a change of pace, we kiss the hand of the clergy. It is a veritable riot of kissing. The Orthodox Church certainly takes seriously the idea of greeting your brother or sister with a holy kiss.
How long has this been going on? Well, for a very long time. Before Christianity was legalized, here is one of the descriptions of Christians by a horrified non-Christian:
“They recognize each other by secret signs and marks; they fall in love almost before they are acquainted; everywhere they introduce a kind of religious lust, a promiscuous `brotherhood’ and `sisterhood.'”
It was common to charge Christians with gross immorality. The Octavius of Minicius Felix ostensibly records a debate between a non-Christian and a Christian. One part says:
CAECILIUS: All right. Granted, it was just a rumor, but we also hear that you meet in secret, even before sunrise, and the gross immorality that we hear goes on in those places is repulsive — especially the incest.
OCTAVIUS: If you came to one of our meetings you would find that the lovemaking and intimacy you are so quick to imagine is of a totally different nature. We meet before sunrise because we are working people. We have jobs to go to. We do not always meet in secret, but we have no temples or synagogues, so we use somebody’s home which has enough room. We call one another brother and sister and pledge to love one another because that is what our Lord commanded us to do. And we greet one another and bless one another with a holy kiss, not out of lust but out of genuine love and concern for one another. Come and you will see that we demand the highest standards of morality among all who join us.
In fact, it is Saint Peter that encourages us to greet one another with a holy kiss. Orthodoxy takes this advice and applies it quite frequently! But, for those who come out of more restrained backgrounds, it can be quite difficult to learn to kiss one another on a regular and frequent basis, as the Early Church did.
So, if you are non-Orthodox and coming into Orthodoxy, be prepared to purse those lips and kiss, kiss, kiss. But, Father Orthoduck has one bit of advice for those who are already Orthodox. If you see a non-Orthodox person in your parish, restrain yourself when you greet them. You do not wish to throw them into a state of not-exactly-holy shock and awe. GRIN.
Salome Ellen says
I grew up in an area with a lot of Old German Baptists (Anabaptist “plain people”.) They also take the Holy Kiss seriously, and since a bunch of them were extended family — my mom’s cousin married in — I kissed and was kissed a lot. But I think we were Monokissites…. LOVE that designation!
Alix says
Kiss away–it is one of the things I love!! I like the dual kiss, but the trinitarian kiss is nice too–not the air kissing so popular in some places where the BEAUTIFUL hang out–but real kissing. Of course, I come from a very huggie and kissie family and I work in the theater as well, so maybe it was just more of the same for me. So greet each other with a Holy Kiss….or two….or three!!
Mary says
Well, having been raised Roman Catholic, back then, the Kiss of Peace was a handshake, although within families with young children it was many times a kiss or a hug.
Having NOT been in a ROman Catholic church in >15-20 years, and having converted to Orthodoxy when my husband & I got married, I think the Kiss of Peace, and kissing when you see a friend, is wonderful!
It gives me a great sense of friendship & happy feeling inside.
Alix Diane Fairbrother Hall says
Reverencing icons with a Holy Kiss is a very special thing to me…as a person who believes that all the senses should be able to join in the praising of the Holy and Mighty God, the incense, the icons, the bells, the candles, the bowing, the kissing, the touching/feeling/hearing/seeing/smelling of the Orthodox worship that involves all the senses is just right–one of the ways I knew I was home.
Ingemar says
If you want to put a non-Orthodox in a holy state of shock and awe–invite them to come for Forgiveness Sunday.
David says
I came from a “huggin'” tradition. So the kiss wasn’t all that hard for me. The big deal is that some do and some don’t and some will only on certain days (like forgiveness Sunday). Mostly my parish offers such a wide range of options that one can never be sure what you’re supposed to do until you’ve already bumped foreheads. Still, I’m a big man and I miss giving people bear hugs. I’m learning to carry that as a podvig.
Steve Scott says
I wonder if this is why evangelicals have such an easy time with warning of the slippery slope towards fornication and adultery with so many “innocent” things.
Fr. Ernesto Obregon says
Evangelicals have often taken a particular cultural attitude and interpreted it as God’s attitude. Thus, yes, many (in other decades) would have been every bit as offended as the pagan Romans over the kissing habits of the Orthodox. GRIN.
Steve Scott says
Hey, we need an ORTHOKISS emoticon!
Nathan says
The first time we went to a Divine Liturgy, my wife and I were both a bit overwhelmed by all the kissing. But I have to say the typical handshake greeting time in Protestant services we’re familiar with are still awkward for me, and always have been, so maybe it’s just me.
Sabrina says
I think that’s a very nice tradition! As for those ancient Romans, they just had a dirty mind lol
davidbrainerd2 says
Anyone care to answer the question here: Can you give air-kisses to icons in the Eastern Orthodox church instead of physical kisses? I’d be interested in the answer myself, although I don’t really care.
Fr. Ernesto Obregon says
I am not a member of that community and do not want to sign up and make it to 50 points. So, I will simply say that air-kisses are permitted.