The slightly grubby man–rarely, if ever, a woman–comes up to you with the story above. And, you have heard it before more than once. It is one of the oldest stories used by panhandlers. It is repeated over and over because it is one of the more successful stories. In fact, Father Orthoduck has heard the exact same story in Spanish in Peru in the southern Andean mountains! Father Orthoduck is willing to bet that this story is probably found on some Babylonian cuneiform tablet.
But, why does this story work? It works because our culture–and many others–have an ethic of helping others in distress. Every one of the major religions on Earth speaks about taking care of those who are in distress and considers such actions to be part of what defines a “good” person. Even in the East, where the concept of karma is highly developed, there is still the thought that helping others will help your karma and give you a better future.
Particularly for those of us who are Christians, there is a tug of the Holy Spirit within us which calls us to compassion and mercy. After all, “what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” A person coming to us and asking for help tugs on those heartstrings, those areas of our heart which the Lord has been trying to change and soften. And, it puts us in a quandary. Our heart says that we need to be merciful, but our mind reminds us how many false panhandlers there are, particularly when this story is used.
When Father Orthoduck was first a missionary-trainee in Bolivia, he attended a lecture given by a missionary who had been in the field decades. His lecture to us “newbies” was on the subject of panhandlers and people who come to your church or your home asking for help. Bolivia is one of the poorest countries in South America. Unlike the USA, where the number of poor is 12.7% of the population and about 3.8% of the households experience hunger (statistics from Bread for the World, a reliable Christian organization), the number of the poor in Bolivia is well over 50% of the population and extreme poverty is not uncommon. So, here you are, a new Christian missionary, and your limited missionary income, which places you among the lower middle class in the USA, places you among the rich in Bolivia. You went into missions because you have a heart for others. Now, you are faced with the reality of Third World poverty and you are overwhelmed. What do you do?
Father Orthoduck has officiated at the funeral of a 2 year old child who probably could have been saved in the USA. (No, he did not know the child was sick until after death.) Father Orthoduck has met a Quechua tribal member who was crippled for life after his shattered leg was treated with home remedies in the mountains. Father Orthoduck has seen children whose bones could be counted. And, Father Orthoduck has felt overwhelmed. What do you do? Father Orthoduck left behind a school and an orphanage, it is a drop in the bucket but, at least it is a drop. What do you do?
The elder missionary had no answers and that was how he started out his talk. The purpose of his talk was to keep us from burning out and from being unable to complete the course. He told us stories of missionaries having to be sent home because they were unable to stop giving and spent their entire missionary budget on the poor. Their families suffered, and their own children came close to the starvation line. But, they could not look at poverty and say “no,” and so they did not complete the course. They cracked and their families cracked with them. He told us stories of missionaries who went to the other extreme. One of them actually set dogs on the poor who came to his door. He, too, had to be sent home. He developed a shell so thick that he was unable to give out the mercy of the Lord to those who needed to hear His word and experience His love. He cracked and his family cracked with him.
The elder missionary spoke to us of learning how to set boundaries. He spoke of some of the great saints and missionaries of the Church who had been able to accomplish impossible things. But, then he pointed out that the majority of us will not be in that league, and that such things are God’s choice and not simply our will, our decision. He spoke to us of our responsibility to preach the Word, to minister in worship, to take care of our families, and to care for the families in the Church. In the face of the overwhelming poverty, he said that we had to learn to say “no” much more often than we would be able to say “yes.” And, he said that this would not be easy. He could not give us boundaries for each family and said that we had to go before God and ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. But, he warned us that if we were unable to learn balances in our life that we would crack and be sent home, and not be able to complete the task that God had sent us to accomplish.
So, what do you do? Father Orthoduck heard the talk above almost twenty years ago. And, Father Orthoduck has no answers for you either. Go before the Lord and ask for his Holy Spirit that you might set correct boundaries and that you may neither ignore the poor nor be overwhelmed by the poor. You can get away with saying “no” to almost any panhandler who comes to you with the above story. It is very likely quite false. But, you cannot get away with ignoring the poor. That is clearly not Christian.
“But, you cannot get away with ignoring the poor. That is clearly not Christian.”
This sentence is clearly an indictment of the church in the US and Canada. We live with $1million annual budgets and multimillion dollar buildings while almost completely ignoring the plight of the poor. Statistics show that contributions to missions averages only 2% of the annual budget of the Western Church.
Much of that missions budget never makes it to the poor, either. Most of that budget goes to support missionaries who are doing the work of evangelism. And, most missionaries can tell you that they have trouble making ends meet, as it is.