We have a tendency, when we talk about decisions, to talk mostly about bad decisions and mistaken decisions. Rarely do we talk about good decisions. And, even more rarely do we talk about good decisions that are very difficult to make. What do I mean by good, but incredibly difficult decisions?
Yesterday, I was talking with my mother-in-law. She commented on some doubts that she had about bringing up her children. Which doubts? Well, her family was a military family. That means that every three years the family was moved to a new service location. They were moved to more than one foreign country. They were moved in the middle of the school year. Dad was gone more than once for a year at a time. Those were in the days before Skype, before the Internet, before roaming international cell phones. This meant that on more than one occasion, contact was only by whatever letters made it back from wherever dad was.
In the case of our family, we were missionaries for a decade. Our oldest daughter actually kept a count of how many schools she was in by the time she was a young teenager. Our family, too, was moved to two different service location over ten years. We lived in three different cities. Our daughters were in several schools. But, since we came back on furlough every three years, this meant that they had to change schools for furlough only to go back to what might be a different school when furlough was over. More than that, as we went on our first missionary term, my wife had to say goodbye to her maternal grandmother. Both she and her grandmother knew that her grandmother would not last out until the end of our first term. In fact, she slept in the Lord within two months of our going overseas. My wife was not able to be at the funeral.
It is a good thing to decide to serve your country. Our family is a multi-generational military family. My father-in-law was an Army lifer and retired as a first sergeant and served in Viet Nam. My uncle-in-law served in Viet Nam. My brother-in-law served in the Army. I was drafted during Viet Nam. Our daughter is a 2nd Lt. and about to go to a war zone within the next couple of months. It is a good thing to serve your country, but for those who choose to serve it full-time in the Armed Forces, it means a difficult lifestyle which may leave one wondering whether one has done the right thing by one’s children.
It is a good thing to be a missionary. Our family has several missionaries in it. My cousin-in-law and his wife leads short-term missions teams overseas. My brother-in-law and his wife have served with a mission agency. My uncle-in-law is a church-planting preacher. And, we were missionaries. You get the idea. But, it does make one wonder as well. Did we do right by our children, changing them from school to school from place to place? Could we have done it better? No, no, do not worry. We are convinced that we were following the Lord. And, yet, one always is concerned about the effects of one’s decisions on one’s children.
Yes, I understand what my mother-in-law said. We both made all the right decisions. We know we made all the right decisions. But, this is not a perfect world. This is a world in which the battle with the powers of darkness still goes on. Even the right decision may have consequences as a result of being right decisions made in a world that is still fallen and damaged. And so, we ache. We make the decisions we make on faith and we ache sometimes at the inevitable consequences.
There are many reasons why Saint Paul says that the creation itself groans awaiting the revealing of the sons of God. There is a reason why the final chapter of the Book of Revelation makes the promise that all tears shall be wiped away, and there will be no more sorrow. The stories above are among the reasons why we look forward to that revealing.
I personally wouldn't want it any other way. Sometimes it seems like it would be more convenient to know where "the old Publix" used to be, or to still be close to people who you grew up with. But we can certainly learn new routes, and we can become incredibly close to new friends. And to have such a different perspective on the world is really a neat thing.
GRIN, good to know.
I have never had a home town except US Army. I went to 10 schools in 12 years of public schooling. I lived in 32 houses before I was 25 years old. I have visited every state in the nation and lived in 9 of them–some in more than one location. I have lived in Asia and I have lived in Europe. My father’s tombstone lists three wars for his country and he died of agent orange related cancer. The decisions my parents made were undoubtedly difficult. Did they have doubts? Very likely they did. What my siblings and I remember is that our parents lived what they taught us–Duty, Honor and Country. We all knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were loved.
I have made difficult decisions while bringing up my own children. Do I have doubts? Absolutely. When talking to my children about their growing up years which included the death of one parent, the mental breakdown and subsequent violence by a stepfather/father, the necessity of running for safety with the clothes on our backs at one point, my children say that they always knew they were loved and that I would take care of them.
What else can we really give our children in an uncertain world but teaching them how to live (hopefully) by example and making sure they know they are loved.
Alix