Yesterday I asked the question about why the early Christian monks did not fall into the trap of the modern separatist fundamentalists. After all, if you read Church history, the monastic movement started from some of the same concerns the Anabaptists had about the purity of the Church and the failure of Christians to practice, or at least try to live, a life of increasing Christian perfection. So, the monastic movement could have easily fallen into the same trap. And, when the monastic movement started the Church was not yet approved by the empire, so it would have been rather easy for them to leave without the rest of the Church being able to do much about it. (The previous sentence is for those who buy into imperial conspiracy theories.)
Perhaps I should emphasize that my question is why the monastic movement did not fall into that trap. You see, the reality is that individual Christians are quite sinful and prone to behavior and thoughts that do not match their stated beliefs. So, yes, there are monks that are proud and separatist and arrogant, etc. You can read stories about their getting into fights on Mount Athos over who gets possession of the monastery. Even worse, there are monks who periodically get into fistfights at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre thereby violating their very vows. And, worst of all, there are monks who have begun to believe that only the monastics are the saviors and preservers of Orthodoxy, based on some historical events in the history of the Church. Those monks often cause division and are dangerous to the Church.
But, having cited individual examples, the question remains. How did the monastic movement avoid separating itself out of the Church? After all, the vast majority of monks do not fit the description above, anymore than the vast majority of Christians are separatists fundamentalists. Well there are several reasons, but the one I consider most important would be their life of prayer and introspection.
As they went out into the desert–for it was into the Middle Eastern desert that they went–the early monastics wished to avoid the lax and “sinful” life of their city brethren. And, so they began a process of prayer and introspection. I am convinced that it was at that time that the Holy Spirit did some significant work. You see, there is a funny thing about introspection. You never know what you will find when you look inside yourself. Long before the advent of modern psychology, the monks found that inside themselves was an absolutely twisted mess of impulses, desires, and plain old sin. I suspect that they had expected to find some sin. But when you read the Desert Fathers, you become aware that they found sinful impulses far beyond anything that they had expected.
And, that was their salvation. You see, as they realized how sinful they truly were, they began to realize that they were no different than their city brethren. They may not have acted out on their impulses, but they realized that they had each and every impulse that they had seen in their city brethren, and maybe more. You actually catch a glimpse of this type of thinking in a very modern detective series, the Father Brown series by G. K. Chesterton. There were 52 Father Brown stories. In one of them Father Brown has identified the murderer and is asked how he was able to figure it out. His answer was, “You see it was I who killed all those people…I mean that I thought and thought about how a man might come to be like that until I realized that I really was like that in everything but actual final consent to the action.”
Yes, the monks realized that they were like any common murderer in everything but their final consent to the action. And, when they realized that, they were kept from going in the direction of so many modern separatist fundamentalists. They became incredibly forgiving and loving people. In fact, we have records of bishops complaining about the Desert Fathers because they were so willing to forgive that they were supposedly interfering with proper church discipline. And, we have stories of Desert Fathers actually taking on someone else’s punishment, not because they were imitating Christ, but because they were convinced that they deserved the punishment, given their inmost thoughts. But, in taking on that punishment and letting the other go free, they actually did imitate the sinless Christ. Interesting, right?
And, here is what we need to learn. We will only grow in holiness as we really and truly learn that we are worse than any of the people in prison. It is only when we really strip off our masks that we can see ourselves for what we are. The funny thing is that when done in the power of the Holy Spirit it does not lead to depression but to deepening our ability to follow God and our knowledge of God.
As a result of the kind of introspection you have written about, I too am finding that all sorts of thoughts and even actions that I had rationalized and defended and in every other way excused are really sin of the deepest nature. After spending some years defending myself as a “really good person” I have found that the closer I come to Him, the more the Light of God shines in the dark places of my soul and even those actions that were “good” were often motivated by some of those twisted impulses and desires you mentioned and I echo St. Paul–“Wretched (wo)man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?” And then the voice of the Savior speaks in that precious still small voice, “Your sins are forgiven.” There is a reason we ask for God’s mercy so often in the Divine Liturgy. It is because we need that mercy so desperately. Or speaking for myself alone–I so need that mercy. For years I had real difficulty with the concept of myself as a sinner. After all, I was a “really good person.” The Divine Light has shown me just how wrong I have been and I cry with the publican.”Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.”
It is amazing just what you find if the Holy Spirit helps you look !!
Alix
I would not call it amazing what I find when the Holy Spirit helps me to look within myself. Often it is disgusting and makes me cry out to God for forgiveness and help. And, then, I get up and walk. That is the amazing part to me. I was blind, but now I see. My sins are forgiven!
Amazing in the sense that without the Holy Spirit’s assistance my tendencies to rationalization and a multitude of other defences run wild. Who would have thought that beneath that pleasant and oh so “NICE” exterior there lurks such a multitude of impure motives, pride, greed and all the rest of the seven deadlys. The lengths to which my mind will go to keep me from the the realization that I too am a sinner and need forgiveness is truly astounding. It is like an intervention—-the Holy Spirit shines the light of God within and suddenly the heart sees what the mind has been attempting to hide and I weep at my iniquity and cry out for what He alone can give. The forgiveness is AWESOME–in the original sense of the word.