This post will be both the Saturday and Sunday posts. Weekends are always hard for a pastor because of multiple commitments.
Let me mention that this post is my own personal opinion. While I am building on Orthodoxy, I do not claim any special insight, nor do I claim to represent the Orthodox Church. In fact, this is a subject that is not often addressed by any Christian group, though it has been addressed by “action” groups on one side or another of the political/moral spectrum.
Let me go with the easy cases first. I had mentioned that there were the “true” intersexuals and those who have some deficiency which is treatable with medical science. For those who are genotypically of one sex, the answer is rather easy. Receive the appropriate medical treatment. If you fall in love, I do not see any bar to marriage, however, I would recommend that you tell your future spouse of your medical problems, just like I would say to anyone with medical problems. If your expression of your deficiency makes you infertile, then you ought to have a serious discussion with your future spouse about adopting a child and so expressing in a creative way the love of the Trinity. I follow the Fathers in saying that the love of a couple ought to express itself outward in creative love. In your case the creative love may be expressed in adoption, just like God the Father adopted us.
But, what about those whose genotype is mixed? I do not have an easy answer, but I will point out that intersexuals have been getting married in the Church for centuries. No one knew that they were intersexuals. Rather, they may have been more androgynous men or more masculine women, depending on how their genotype expressed itself. But, they have lived faithful quality lives. Some would have been fertile but many would not have been fertile. Yet they lived out solid Christian lives. Had Miss Semenya gotten married before the race, would you have told her to get divorced because she is an intersexual? No, I would say to the married intersexuals, many of whom do not even know they are, to be at peace. The sacrament of marriage is not to be lightly discarded simply on the basis of a discovered intersexual genotype. Most married intersexuals have a fairly clear gender identification and are at peace with that. So, I repeat, be at peace. If you are infertile, give serious consideration to expressing the adopting love of God the Father by taking in someone(s) who need good faithful parents.
What about the non-married intersexual? Again, I would follow the principles above. Though your genotype may be mixed, if you have a settled gender identity for as long as you have a memory, then live out that identity. Honestly, many intersexuals are like Miss Semenya, there is no knowledge of the condition until later in life, by which time they may very well be married already.
Jesus said that some are born eunuchs and does not put that down. The type of intersexual that is most likely to have questions is the one who has manifested the genotype during puberty. The “birth” type of apparent intersexuals tend to be the non-true intersexuals. And, I do not have full answers for those who manifest their intersexuality during puberty. It must be an incredible shock, just like it was for Miss Semenya. I suspect that it would have to be on a case by case basis. I might recommend that some consider a calling to being single or to the monastics. Others, I might recommend that they live out their established gender identity. I freely admit to some fuzziness here on my part. I do not wish to either disapprove what the Lord has approved or approve what the Lord has disapproved. I also do not wish to fall into the logical error of claiming that anything that is must automatically be part of God’s plan. So, I will admit to fuzziness in this area.
I would suspect that you are absolutely right about the “case by case basis.” Should people with mobility disabilities marry? Should people with mental disabilities? Should ANYBODY marry without attempting to discern God’s will for their particular situation?
I would also suggest that while “anything that is” may not be part of God’s plan, it may be something He has ALLOWED to help the affected individual and/or those around to grow in holiness.
You make two very excellent points Ellen, and I sure wish there were a way to visit you and Roger and see how all the kids are now taller than I am.
There are some who do say that people with mobility disabilities should not marry, precisely on the ground of procreation. But, I feel that not only does this go against the tenor of the fathers, but is also an extreme position that is not really aimed at those with mobility disabilities but is aimed at other battles that are being fought. As I mentioned, technically the extreme position, if followed as stated, would forbid the Church from officiating at the marriage of anyone who is unlikely to conceive, whether because of age or because of infertility or because of mobility disabilities, etc. But Church history regularly shows people whose marriage was blessed by the Church in spite of a probable inability to procreate.
And, most important, we need to have a conversation with God. I suspect that there are good healthy folk who are married, but who might have been called to be monks or nuns. The reverse is also true.
Finally, you are right, any difficult situation can also be an open door for us to grow in holiness. The mystery of suffering is precisely that it is both a mystery and can also be a means by which God helps us to grow more and more into his likeness.